“What is Life”?

What is life? Is it not as a vapor that appears for a short time only to vanish away?

Here but for only as a moment, as man measures time. Do we not get stuck in and hung up on the temporal? I conclude that most of us do so to some extent.

That extent can become the measuring rod for what we call life; and can end up defining life for us. However, God is Eternal in nature. He states that we are created in His likeness.

Why do we not see through His eyes of Eternal perspective naturally? Is it simply because we do not allow ourselves to be truly born again by His Spirit; born of both water and Spirit?

I seemed to have lost the ability to think in complexity or detail. I must keep all my thinking quite basic and simple or I get lost in process of life and can not arrive at a place of making a decision for a next step. I wait and pray. I have pondered what to write. I have waited for a deeper message from God. There seems to be no deeper message than the simple Gospel; which is my conclusion.

Why has much of the world made life so complex? Simple and basic seem to hold little value for many in this day. Does one have to muster up an expression of uniqueness to be heard, seen or acknowledged as someone having something of value to offer to their world? Why does that matter so much? We forget so readily that “in Christ” we all hold the same intrinsic value. Is Jesus’ sacrificial work on the Cross no longer enough that we readily dismiss it to assume way of making a life for our self that is self centered or inward focus oriented? Why allow someone else to define who I am? I am who God says that I am.

Contemporary thinking seems to elude my understanding at times. Is it possible to lose one’s mind’s ability to function in contemporary conventionality? Yes, I conclude; sometimes this may be so. Is that a good thing? It depends on the reason for the question. Sometimes God’s call eludes our defining of it.

What happens when my thinking no longer meshes with what comprises the here and now that I see with my eyes and how I feel about such? It is then when the surrounding becomes so overwhelming that I simply must close my eyes and sit in silence. It is then when there is nothing to do but be still and then the Words of God can become so very clear.

As I listen now to old Gospel songs and hymns their message is so clear, concise, and to the point. Yet the world has moved on in the greater sense. The message of such music composition no longer deliverers to the soul of many it’s original message. Why is this? These lyrics are ever so clear that I wonder how can anyone miss their message? Why do we always have to seek some new thing? Sometimes I gloss over in what becomes too familiar. It loses meaning. I sense that the church has been infiltrated by and for the greater sense, a religious spirit. Has such pervaded our thinking over many years of time and rocked us to sleep unto the Eternal perspective that should by nature, direct in the spirit of a child of God?

Heaven calls to me in this moment more than ever and it is not a place one goes to. Heaven can be already present if one is “in Christ”. Heaven can be, I believe a state of being and not necessarily a destination. Jesus’ work on the Cross is full and complete and lacking nothing. Heaven must be introduced into wherever we are in life and into whatever place we may find ourselves in. Yet “there” conflict can arise.

Why does so much of the world find itself so far from what God defines as Heaven? Heaven feels so natural to me at this moment and it is as though now it beckons me to come and merge. The Spirit and the bride do say “come” indeed.

What happens when one dies to this world in order to embrace “Heaven” that God’s Word addresses? Is this “going home? Is there “a letting go” process so that one may return “home”? The functionality of the mind can pose many questions when it’s integrity becomes compromised; be it due to disease or the need to be transformed rather than continuing to conform. Then walking by the Spirit is the only way through. Therein one comes into the peace that passes all understanding when it feels like I’m losing all then becomes one of “gaining all” as in the Presence of the Lord is true liberty discovered.

If one is truly born again from above or “in Christ” they are Eternal in spirit and never really die. They merely leave the body at some point. To leave an aging and suffering body’s constraints is immense relief is it not? So why is so much effort spent to “achieve” the worldly goods within this life? Why can’t we be and remain in a perspective of Eternity in walking out life; where a sense of nothingness can be engulfed in a fullness? When death is arrested then one is truly free. He who the Son sets free is free indeed.

Life begins in the Presence of Jesus and there all else gains reason to matter and remain. In Him all is made new. So then, what holds significance and preeminence with you and I?

I hope that what I have stated here today amidst my questionings, applies in some way. It is the first prompting I have received to resume writing. I hope to continue as long as have capacity within me to express what I sense is being asked of me; a day at a time.

“All that You ever asked For”

You never asked me to be or do anything
But bring my heart to You, O my King.
There, may You rule and reign for all time,
What shall I say, what I shall bring?
I need not reach unto the sky for my heart to sing,
To obtain the things that neither man nor money can bring.
So why do I try and continually seek after signs of such thing?

All that You ever asked for, was my heart
My heart, losing its intricacies of life,
Embracing all of You; that’s all that really matters.
So why do I keep distant from such a real fine place to start?
In all simplicity tis’ my only real part.
Believing I have to rise to some greater art
When You never said I had to step
Upon broken rungs of by my own resign,
In hopes that something new they might offer to design.

You never asked me to complete the journey
All by myself, finding all I need without the complimentary help.
So why do I try to ascend unto the sky,
While there is a helpmeet standing ready by my side?
Oh, You never asked me to be a stand-alone.
To face the struggles all on my own,
So why do I try to obtain that which in You, is already mine?

When all that You ever asked for was my heart,
My heart, back to its childlike simplicity
Losing all the complexity I have gained along the way.
Seems like at times such a mighty task
Why do I feel I have to reach for the sky before I ask?
Believing I have to rise to something greater first
When All I ever needed has been the all the time.
These broken rungs cannot hold nor serve me any longer.
Seems it is time to release and let them go.
On new stepping stones I now choose to go.
Answers to many questions on this side of the picture
Are not mine at this time to know in point or juncture.

Because all they do is take my eyes off of You.
Help me forget the truth of what does not matter.
Beholding through the glass darkly through the eyes of grace,
From glory unto glory I shall embrace fully, then see face to face.

Silver and gold be not the harmony of such exchange.
Things of this world cannot arrange such basis and beauty,
Of such as I have and freely bring, as I have freely received.
Without money or price, exceeds a priceless treasure,
At greatest of cost by the Cross,
Purchased, renewed by the Saviour.
Richest of gain to receive, the letting go of what was lost.

All that You ever wanted was my heart
My heart; its intricacies fade into simplicity.
Life as a vapor, appears for a short time, soon to eclipse away.
A life transcends in child-like savor as there is only but today.
There is nothing to distress or dismay any longer,
Hope and faith arises as the best yet ever unfolds just yonder!

“The Trial and Testimony of Life”

Cast your bread upon the waters for you shall see it after many days. These words in today’s accompanying picture ring so true in me at this stage in life. True and steadfast is God’s promise unto me. I can hold true and align my life with His promise. Even though my body fail me over and over and time and time again. This morning in the midst of a constant rise and fall, I remain committed to stand faithful to His promise that the work He has begun in me will be completed in and by His hand. He is faithful to complete that work. Even though some of the people in my life let me down and circumstances come to kill, steal and destroy what I left in my hands to work with, my candle is not yet extinguished. “Faithful is that calls me who also will do it”.
(1 Thessalonians 5:4).

Praise the LORD! For it is good to sing praises to our God. Sing to the LORD with thanksgiving. He builds up, He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. He is abundant in power and his understanding is beyond measure. So we can thus glean from Psalm 47.

What does He take delight in when it it comes to essence of your life and mine?
His delight is not in the strength of the horse nor his pleasure in the legs of a man, but the LORD takes pleasure in those who fear him, in those who hope in his steadfast love. (Christ in me; the hope of glory. I will glory only in the Cross). I choose to die daily and continually to all else.

He called and commissioned me to first and foremost preach the gospel of Jesus Christ. What else matters? All else in life serves around why I am here. How I show up is an illustration of such. I pour the the Living Word of God into the lives of others. This be my livelihood; my living hope. What is my life but as a vapor that appears but for a short and time and then to vanish away? For all my days are passed away: spending my years as a tale that is told. The days of my years may be threescore years and ten; and if by reason of strength they be fourscore years, yet is their strength labor and sorrow; for it is soon cut off, and I fly away.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (Psalm 90)

They that go down to the sea in ships; And occupy their business in great waters; These men see the works of the Lord: and his wonders in the deep. (Psalm 107:23)
Captivity in disease or adversity can be as dangerous and alarming as a dreadful tempest at sea; with a most natural and striking description of which we are here presented. Life can rise on the highest wave only then to be engulfed in it’s aftermath.

For he commands, and raises the stormy wind, which lifts up waves thereof.
Mounting up to the heavens, going down again to the depths; soul is melted in trouble. Reeling to and fro, and staggering like a drunken man, at my wit’s end,
I cry unto the Lord. And then and suddenly;

He brings me out of my distresses. He makes the storms to calm, so that the waves thereof be still; for a moment.
I am glad for “a moment” of quiet and calm. He offers a haven. Yet life cycles does it not in rise and fall? Yes, my life is as the rolling sea and I choose to ride the waves inspite of what it may seem. He is faithful. It does not matter what my five senses observe. It does not matter what I feel in my emotions.

Steadfast and faithful may I remain from commencement unto conclusion, unto the very end as I cross the finish line and draw my last breath in this race. I look unto my Jesus and into His eyes my gaze be affixed. In that day, Him I shall “fully” behold and see. As for now, the time being; I am simply a grandpa who has been so shown my Heavenly Father’s heart in such abundance that if if nothing else, may the remainder of my days serve as an example of a “father to the fatherless”. My charge and cry shall be “Give me my mountain”!, just as it was with Caleb of old. My promise land rests in “the unseen”. That is true faith that pleases God.
Faithful to the little and few placed into my stewardship and trust; great is the reward in the end. I live solely for that which is Eternal. Glory be unto God!

“The Drawing Call of Matchless Love”

I am reminded in Scripture that young men have visions, and old men have dreams. I am not quite sure where I fit, as Jesus came into my life during the late 1970’s. I have been caught up into both in recent months. Age-wise I’m sort of in the middle so it’s God’s call as to which, when, where and with whom application plays out. God never answers “how”. So just say “yes”. In my humanity it often leads me to be quite beside myself. I may come across as a bit “eccentric” to some at times. I’m okay with that. In the light of Jesus’ presence the need for man’s affirmations and recognition in me are being put to death increasingly at the foot of the cross. I crucify them continually. In humility, there is a call arising for me to speak/write and bring out in music what now must be spoken/written/sung. The Master calls me to such.

I have a present sense of urgency that there is more, beyond all that I presently know and understand, that I must yet apprehend. Not from outside myself, but from within, the unfathomable and unsearchable riches of Christ. In His mind. Christ in me, the hope of glory. Seated in heavenly places while walking out earthly steps.

I began to write from what I have been receiving at the first of this year here on this blog. I have drawn from nearly my entire life experience to portray on this page in response to what I have been receiving. In addition to my response, there enters into the picture, my reactions when my flesh hurts and grapples with what God asks of me. I will not ask of anyone what I am not first willing to first walk out myself. I have been asked to write, tell and share an unprecedented story of an ordinary man that has been given an extraordinary assignment to be put on open and transparent display before the eyes of the world as an open book to known and read by all whose hearts are open to a drawing call from the Spirit of God as a voice crying into the wilderness of the hearts of many. To come away in an unprecedented way, back to the Father’s heart and into the embrace of the One to whom to we the bride, truly belong, because His love has infinitely purchased us and there is the freedom of of a love within that relationship, that exceeds all loves.

So now it is time for me to start releasing in small bits at a time what the bride is being asked to awaken to, within the call from her Groom.
I sense and what I seem to be hearing God saying is, that He is doing a quick work to “make ready” a remnant that will connect with and to, in their hearts a call, to come apart, in response to a deeper call, that is unprecedented in the history of the human race. Not necessarily “new” in the physical sense since God’s Word being Eternal has always been and ever shall be, but a “newly experienced” one in the heart.

On a level where deep calls to deep, in unprecedented measure, penetrating to and dispersing the ordinary thought train of man, there arises a new breath of expression of the Bridegroom to His bride. A call to come away. So let us now focus solely on Jesus heart cry to his bride right now that there would be found, those of us who would begin the breathe the words “Draw me after You”. (Song of Solomon 1:4) There are three aspects of response to Him; this being the first.
“Draw me after You”. May this be the expressive response in the life you live as you breath this expression in and then back out; reciprocally in unbroken continuity. Call and response in reciprocal harmony sets the rhythmic heartbeat for heart to heart exchange of life. This is love from the Father’s heart.

Here a courtship commences with those of you who hear His call; simply come. Many are called but few chosen. God doesn’t do the choosing, but you and I do. It is the level of hunger that draws you and I into Him and this determines the measure of our “Yes” to Him. “Few there be that find or discover this” were Jesus’ words. A rare treasure. I don’t say this to discourage you but to open up very being to be more hungry for Him. Any of us can enter this; however how many are willing to pursue with relentless unprecedented passion? Jesus is “that jealous over your love”. Yet He awaits even as we affix and focus our love upon other points of preference. He understands, yet longs for us to “awaken fully unto Him”. I assure you this is a real place. I’ve tasted of His love and nothing can begin to compare.

I’m undone; “A letter from The Secret Place”

I’ve sat and pondered half the day, not knowing what to say. What to write? So much expression held within. Pacing the room, around and around, I come to only one conclusion fellow readers and that is to invite you into the throne room that has become my abode it seems. So much has been poured into me. I seek empty vessels to pour out into. This is Jesus’ heart. It is not to be contained, but shed abroad.

Are any of you out there “so hungry for the Presence of God” that you are beside yourselves? If so step in. I did not ascend the mountain in vain. I feel your hearts. I hope you will not just remain where you are but that you will choose to enter in. I came to share perhaps the greatest story ever told; for those to who choose it’s fullness to behold.

Jesus, I seem to be losing myself in You.

Beautiful beyond description and too marvelous for words, you are.

Beyond the grasp of my comprehension there is nothing I have seen or heard that can begin to compare to what unfolds and is eclipsed within the moments I spend with You.

Time passes while all around me in fleeting moments activities and conversations unfold that do not encompass who You are. How can men and women make light of One such as You, because the things they value seem more important to do?

Who can grasp your infinite wisdom that so far reaches beyond my wildest dreams and imagination?

Who can fathom the depth of your love which has no bounds in which it’s habitation cannot touch.

You are beautiful beyond description and in awe; what can I say, what can I do?

Majestically enthroned above and beyond every description of conceived conception; I lose sight of who I thought that I was. Only Your every Word that You have spoken to and over me, I hinge upon.

Behold as I stand, in awe of you, having no words; only a heart that is gaining a knowing of being truly and genuinely loved for the first time and perhaps yearns to love with the same intensity.

Yet who can receive such a measure of love unless they can lose themselves in You such as I have managed to. All I did was let go of life as I conceived it to be. Then it was only You and me Jesus. And now how do I share this; what You and I have? I feel invisible to their eyes. Can they hear Your Words through me? Only You truly know the answer. Tis’ not my business to know. I must simply go and be as transformed from this Holy place. I just don’t how this is to be. I am totally free, sent in Your likeness now to be.

As the wind blows and lists about, who can conceive it’s source?

People don’t seem to understand me, unless they can see you. I write of you but who among mortal man can truly hear or read the heart that beats behind the words I type or pen?

I live for You. I left my heart on Your altar as a living sacrifice to be consumed in Your presence, for I am not my own. You seek a resting place. I open to You; what more is there?

You bought me with the greatest and ultimate of price. For that; You suffered beyond what any one here on this earth could even begin to comprehend.

I am undone. Where the mind ends, and life truly is begun. I’ve lost my mind it seems. So that Your’s may rule and reign in this temple; what does this mean?

I am Yours now and I know not what follows or what remains.

A Moment in the Father’s Heart

Behold what manner of love the Father’s heart holds for you and I in every moment. His mercies, grace and loving compassion fail not and are new in every morning! How great is His faithfulness! I take a pause this morning from the topic I began yesterday “just because” I feel so very drawn to do so as I sit this morning in my heavenly Father’s presence.

For some of us, we did not have that expression of a loving father in our upbringing as a child. This I have witnessed throughout my life. I “did” however have a very blessed experience of having a loving supportive father.

He was a very quiet person not always having the words or the means of “doing the expected things” necessarily a lot that could express the measure of love that he carried in his heart for me.

He did however set aside quality time with me like in taking me fishing with him on some Saturdays, in which there in the beauty and quiet of the natural outdoors, in rain and shine we enjoyed the best of times. It was then that he would share in the best. Also it was in trips to the dump, working in the garden and yard, mending fences in the cow pasture, feeding and watering the chickens and cleaning the chicken house, shoveling out the cattle stall and putting hay in the manger, and harvesting and putting up hay in the summer. I grew up on a small suburban farm as you can probably tell.

It was while being engaged in the daily chores of keeping life moving and flowing for our family that I experienced some of the best of the father’s heart in my dad. In the midst of the simple and basic things of everyday life, he helped to instill in me what it is for a man to cherish, honor and respectfully love his wife and for me to respect and honor my mother. I had a lot of quality time with her as a result when He was away at work during the day. Unfortunately her life span was shortened considerably when she passed away from cancer at the age of 61. It was then in life as a young man in my late 20’s that I retreated within myself and began to live a rather introverted life. All the years in life while growing up I tended to keep to myself a lot. Both my dad and I were so quiet in nature and tended to retreat within a loneliness that we had a way of setting an environment up for self-imposed isolation. We still had those talks like we used to though however they were more superficial. We had challenges saying what we really felt deep down inside.

Through the years of my childhood, my dad often spoke of the love that he held for my mother even though they would have their share of “heated discussions”. This due to the fact that she was very outward in expression and most of time made sure she “had her say”. She was very outspoken most of time. For example if anyone offended her in verbal attacks against our family, especially pertaining to myself or my sister, she may never speak to them again if that person did not apologize and make it right. She even severed a longtime friendship with a best friend in life over such.

My dad did not always know how to respond to my mother but he listened until it became overbearing for him in not knowing how to respond, then he would retreat to his tv/radio repair shop out in the garage where he had a part time business. Then later they would find a way of settling their differences in love. He taught me that you never, ever lay a hand on a woman. You allow her speak and you listen. Then if you don’t know what to do, then you retreat rather than keep fighting with words.
He did the best he knew how to do. Unfortunately he buried and “stuffed” a lot of unresolved emotions and just carried them. I took after him in that respect. My marriage later after 19 years ended in divorce. Here 14 years later I am in a divorce care group healing my unresolved buried emotions and hurt. I am healing wonderfully, as God’s grace is so amazing.

Getting back to the story, I would often go out there in the shop with him to just be with him and watch. He did not always say much however in those times but when he did find ways to “show me” love, no matter what, I saw my real dad. I always saw his heart coming through even though he did not always know how to say it in words. That is my story of illustration today of “Father’s heart” from a part of my “real life”.

So know in this moment I contemplate in “the Father’s heart while all the inadequacies that surface in my own bring me through a long overdue season of resolution and transformation.

Beautiful Lord, wonderful Saviour; I know for sure that all of my days are held in Your hands, to be crafted into your perfect plan. So in Christ Jesus I place my hands upon the Potter’s wheel and He reshapes from my broken and shattered dreams and vision, a new handiwork that is being fashioned into something beautiful and unique to my expression.

All of my days are held in Your hands, O God and are crafted into Your perfect plan. You gently call me into Your Presence, guiding me by Your Holy Spirit, teaching me to live all of my life through Your eyes.

I’m caught up and fully enveloped in Your Holy calling, setting me apart for a unique expression of the love and character of my Lord and Saviour, Jesus.

I know you’re drawing me to Yourself and I’m fully trusting You to lead me in every minute detail in which Your Holy Spirit does have full sway and Your every word does also and becomes my say and mainstay. I shall not be moved nor swayed from Your very Presence.

This is my story and forms my song in which I so choose to walk in all the day long. I stand in such blessed assurance and am praising my Saviour through it all.

Fountains of the Deep

The fire of His Presence kindles a new level of flame within my soul.

A light burns ever so brightly to extinguish the encroachment of darkness that has pressed in around me for days.

With my voice I cried out to the Lord; with my voice I plead for mercy as I call out to His name.

I poured out my complaint; as I released my trouble before him, my spirit fainted within me, and I began to sense how that He knows my way; one that cannot be seen through per conventional means.

“Not seeing through” can paralyze me. The log in my own eye eclipsed my view. The way narrows and singleness of vision forms in the way as refinement has it’s perfect work. As the camel with many burdens cannot pass the straight and narrow so these are burdens are unstrapped,loosed and tossed aside and I pass through the eye of refinement to receive the yoke that is easy to bear and light. Now I see the way through to the next step.

In the path where I have walked, there were laid hidden snares for me.

I looked to the right and observed that there was no one who took notice of me and that no refuge seemed to be found for me among men.

No one cared for my soul, it seemed; day in and day out, my plight seemed to go unchanged.

I cried to you, O Lord; and said, “You are my refuge,
my portion in the land of the living.”

You attended to my cry, for I have been brought very low!

“Deliver me from my persecutors; having neither face nor name, yet they remain to inflict pain; for they are too strong for me!, was my cry.

He brings me out the prison house; one of my own making, where I ground, that I may give thanks unto His name!

The righteous will surround me, for you will deal bountifully with me, O Lord.

It is good for me that I am afflicted, that I might truly learn the ways of The Master. He walked this road many times and amidst diverse trials and temptations. For I wrote to you for many days out of much affliction and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to cause you pain or to seek from you gain on my behalf, but to let you know the abundant love that I have for you. That He has for you.

In the end there is but I one that I can truly abide and dwell with at a level and depth of intimacy that can meet the deep cry within. His name is Jesus.

The messages He shares with me in the secret place I spoke of yesterday; I today extend out and reach into distant lands perhaps that I know not of. He shows me that through the writings He has me to dispense; that this gospel does and shall continue to go forth. This is too high and deep for me yet today I feel the souls being touched.

Being nameless and faceless, I choose to remain, so that others may come to truly know and connect with the Name above all names; the glorious and Risen One and whereby be forever changed and nor more in their prison remain.

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus

Worthy of any song we that I could ever sing
Worthy of all the praise that I could ever bring
Worthy of every breath I could ever breathe
It is all about You, Jesus!

The only One who could ever save;
There is no one like You, or beside You

My eyes in wonder are opened to You in a new way this day.
As You show me who You are, filling me to depth and core of my being; I am overwhelmed, consumed and enveloped in Your Presence, by Your heart for me.

Such a love, how can it be, that You would love beyond what I can feel or see.

Oceans, yes oceans of love sweep over me and their breakers overtaking me.

May you lead me into loving those around me in the same way,
That there not an empty vessel yet remain.